Chapter 8


A friend is one of the nicest things you can have,
and one of the best things you can be.

Douglas Pagels

The first thing to know about friendship is that being a friend is more important than having a friend. What most people need is that there is someone there for them. Someone they can talk to, confide in and depend upon. Even if the need seldom arises, just knowing that there is someone is reassuring.

Even if you have many close family relationships, you may not be able to confide in them for fear of being criticized, or given unwelcome and unsolicited advice.

A friend is expected to be objective and non judgmental. Friendships can turn sour when friends become business partners, because of conflict or disagreement. At times when one friend attains more financial success or recognition, there can be envy and jealousy which can spoil friendships.

It has been said that one should never look at a friendís faults but only see their strengths. This may not always be best either for the friend, or the friendship. It is best to be frank and honest.

Extroverts usually have many friends, but often no real close friends who they can confide in, if the need arises.

Introverts on the other hand donít make friends easily but usually do have one or two close friends.

A friend can act as a release valve for you as you can express the reasons for your anger, stress, frustration and sadness without being compromised in the actual situation. However a friend who does not understand can add fuel to the fire.

Hence you need to choose your friends and nurture the friendship carefully, so that you are comfortable in confiding in the friend, in a way that you do not feel compromised.

In todayís networked world, friendships are a means to expanding business relationships. Many friendships result in companies being started by a group of friends, who went to college together and set out as entrepreneur partners. In countries where arranged marriages is the norm, friendships result in marriages amongst the children of friends which at times result in business tie ups and mergers, among families where marriages take place.

Being a good friend, is

more important than

having a friend.